Singapore transport system

As driving and cabs become more expensive, the bus system undergoes flux (again), and the population set to grow, ordinary Singaporean commuters can look forward to a future of traveling like packed sardines during most of their crucial travel times.

The answer to a more pleasant commute, says the LTA, is more pregnant women aboard the MRT.

"We're trying to push more people to take public transport by making driving and cabs a luxury option that only the elite can afford," said Lame Transport Authority spokesman Quah Kin Kia at a press briefing yesterday. "But we also need to maximize returns on buses and the MRT, which means ensuring each carriage is as close to capacity as possible at all times. We realize this can be si beh sian for the average peasa… sorry, sorry, citizen who has to kena pack like sardines during his daily commute."

Which is why the LTA is now working with the Home Affairs Ministry to make commuting, even on stuffed carriages, as pleasant as possible.

"And our research has shown that pregnant women are the answer," said Mr. Quah. "As soon as they step on board a bus or MRT train, everyone immediately becomes so relaxed that they fall asleep in their seats."

The LTA said it will experiment by giving pregnant commuters specially discounted fares to encourage them to take more public transport, and thus help to relax the other passengers.
"We also need more pregnancies to improve the system even further," Mr. Quah continued. "With pregnant women, our public transport system will be like one big spa, with everyone napping happily and reaching their work refreshed."

However, one reporter suggested that only those passengers already seated will fall asleep at the sight of pregnant women, and that standing passengers will instead be even more inconvenienced, having to smush up against big-bellied people.

"Do people stand in the MRT? Really meh?" replied Mr. Quah quizzically. "Funny, each time we follow the Mini-star to take a tour of the MRT, there's a lot of room in the carriage, and everyone gets to sit down, and everything is very pleasant. Please get your facts right and don't engage in mischievous hypotheses."


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